Some memories are like hooks—you can’t swallow them, and you can’t throw them back. You just carry the scar.

The sun breaks over the pines. I take a breath, steady as a rod tip. And I cast one more time—not for the past, but for whatever big, beautiful, impossible thing might still be swimming down there, waiting to surprise a divorced angler who finally learned that letting go is not the same as losing.

It was late September, three years before the papers were signed. The lake was glass, reflecting a sky the color of old pearls. She was with me then, reading a paperback she’d never finish, occasionally looking up to ask, “Anything yet?”

“A big one,” I grunted, forearm burning.

Divorced Angler: Memories of a Big Catch – 2024

For forty minutes, we fought. The fish didn’t jump like a marlin in a Hemingway story. It bulled deep, a muskie or a monstrous pike—a ghost with fins. She took the net, standing at the gunwale, her hand on my back. Not coaching, just there . That touch. Steady. Warm.

Then the rod bent.

The boat rocks gently now, a familiar rhythm I once shared with someone else. Today, the passenger seat holds only a faded life jacket and a Thermos of coffee gone cold. It’s 2024, and I’m fishing alone again—not out of loneliness, but out of a quiet need to untangle the lines of memory.

When it finally surfaced—a torpedo of olive and gold, jaws lined with needles—we both laughed like kids. Forty-two inches. Maybe more. I held it up, water streaming down my wrists, and she kissed my cheek. “You did it,” she said.

--- For anyone who has released a great love back into the deep.

Now, in 2024, the divorce is a year old. The reasons are a tangle of quiet cruelties and unmet needs—no single villain, just two people who forgot how to navigate shallows together. The lake has other boats, other couples laughing. I don’t envy them. I just remember.

This morning, I feel a tug. Not on the line—in the chest. The kind that says: You were loved once. Fully. In a small boat on a quiet lake. That catch belongs to both of us, even if we’ll never speak of it again.

Not the polite tug of a perch or the lazy pull of a bass. This was a deep, ancient surrender of the line—a slow, heavy lean into the depths. I remember her dropping the book. The splash startled a heron from the reeds.

We released it, of course. Watched it slip back into the murk. That was the point: not possession, but the moment.

“What is it?” she whispered, as if the fish could hear.