You miss the sea, the sword fights, and the silliness. Skip it if: You want your pirates gritty, realistic, or sober.
That guillotine sequence. Look, it makes zero historical or physical sense. But watching Jack spin helplessly while a blade chops closer to his neck every two seconds? That’s pure, unhinged Pirates energy. Stupid? Yes. Entertaining? Absolutely.
Javier Bardem’s Captain Salazar is genuinely terrifying. With his ethereal, oozing hair and slow-burn vengeance, he brings a Shakespearean menace that’s been missing since Davy Jones. The silent, ghostly ship slicing through a beach—not the sea—is one of the most haunting visuals in the entire series. Plus, the young Jack Sparrow flashback? Pure fan service, but the good kind: clever, funny, and surprisingly fresh.
Then a CGI shark with three heads explodes behind him, and you remember: this is a franchise that’s been sailing on nostalgia and spectacle for over a decade.